Here are some funny and sarcastic Christmas quotes: ^{southernliving.com}+1 ^{1 2}

• "Don't blame the holidays. You were fat in August." –Unknown
• "Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard." –Andy Borowitz
• “That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” –Jerry Seinfeld
• “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” –Phyllis Diller
• "I'm only a morning person on December 25th." –Unknown
• “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” – Bob Phillips
• “I just want to be rich enough to buy enough ornaments to cover more than one side of the tree.” ...
• “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” ...