“There should be an anti-father’s day. A bad dad’s day. That way I could truly say “you are the best.” “Sorry that mommy has to teach you how to be a man. Daddy was more of a bitch than we initially thought.”

“Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.” —Dave Barry 20. “My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”