Funny Husband Quotes “In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!” “Only a widow can say exactly where her husband is.” “My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse!”

My prince is not coming on a white horse … He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.” – Unknown “Being a good husband is like being a standup comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld

Sharing is sharing your snacks with me. The doctor said I lack vitamin U in my life. Love is a temporary insanity which can only be cured by marriage. I just hit my head, falling for you. I love you with all my bottom. I am yours, and there is no refund. I promise to annoy you every single day of our lives. I love you from my head, tomatoes.

“They say love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” “My husband and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run his life, and I don’t try to run mine.”