We think if we punish ourselves enough, we'll change. Accepting ourselves unconditionally is difficult because we must give up the fantasy that if we punish ourselves enough with negative thoughts, we'll change. It's as if we think we can whip ourselves into shape by saying things like: I'm weak for feeling any anxiety.

When you lack self-acceptance, you’re constantly trying to hide, censor, or repress your true self. This can leave you feeling drained. Self-acceptance can help you show up more authentically without worrying about others’ judgments of you.